Zelmar
o es que existe un territorio
donde las sangres se mezclan
(de una canción de Daniel Viglietti)
Ya van días y noches que pienso pobre flaco
y no puedo ni quiero apartar el recuerdo
no el subido al cajón a la tribuna
con su palabra de espiral velocísima
que blindaba los pregones del pueblo
o encendía el futuro con unas pocas brasas
ni el cruzado sin tregua que quería
salvar la sangre prójima aferrándose
a la justicia esa pobre lisiada
no es el rostro allá arriba el que concurre
más bien el compañero del exilio
el cálido el sencillo aquel buen parroquiano
del boliche de la calle maipú
fiel al churrasco y al budín de pan
rodeado de hijos hijas yernos nietos
ese flamante abuelo con cara de muchacho
hablando del paisito con la pasión ecuánime
sin olvidar heridas
y tampoco quedándose en el barro
siempre haciendo proyectos y eran viables
ya que su vocación de abrecaminos
lo llevaba a fundar optimismos atajos
cuando alguno se daba por maltrecho
y a pesar de la turbia mescolanza
que hay en el techo gris de la derrota
nadie consiguió que tildara de enemigos
a quienes bien o mal
radiantes o borrosos
faros o farolitos
eran pueblo
como él
y también comparece el vigilado
por esos tiras mansos con quienes conversaba
de cine libros y otras zancadillas
en el hotel o escala o nostalgiario
de la calle corrientes
sé que una vez el dueño que era amigo
lo reconvino porque había una cola
de cincuenta orientales nada menos
que venían con dudas abandonos
harapos desempleos frustraciones conatos
pavores esperanzas cábalas utopías
y él escuchaba a todos
él ayudaba comprendía a todos
lo hacía cuerdamente y si algo prometía
lo iba a cumplir después con el mismo rigor
que si fuera un contrato ante escribano
no se puede agregar decía despacito
más angustia a la angustia
no hay derecho
y trabajaba siempre
noche y día
quizás para olvidar que la muerte miraba
de un solo manotazo espantaba sus miedos
como si fueran moscas o rumores
y pese a las calumnias las alarmas
su confianza era casi indestructible
llevaba la alegría siempre ilesa
de la gente que cumple con la gente
sólo una imagen lo vencía
y era la hija inerme
la hija en la tortura
durante quince insomnios la engañaron diciéndole
que lo habían borrado en argentina
era un viejo proyecto por lo visto
entonces sí pedía ayuda para
no caer en la desesperación
para no maldecir más de la cuenta
ya van días y noches que pienso pobre flaco
un modo de decir pobres nosotros
que nos hemos quedado
sin su fraternidad sobre la tierra
no se me borran la sonrisa el gesto
de la última vez que lo vi junto a chicho
y no le dije adiós sino cuidate
pero los dos sabíamos que no se iba a cuidar
por lo común cuando cae un verdugo
un doctor en crueldad un mitrione cualquiera
los canallas zalameros recuerdan
que deja dos tres cuatro
verduguitos en cierne
ahora qué problema este hombre legal
este hombre cabal acribillado
este muerto inmorible con las manos atadas
deja diez hijos tras de sí
diez huellas
pienso en cecilia en chicho
en isabel margarita felipe
y los otros que siempre lo rodeaban
porque también a ellos inspiraba confianza
y qué lindos gurises ojalá
vayan poquito a poco entendiendo su duelo
resembrando a zelmar en sus diez surcos
puede que la tristeza me haga decir ahora
sin el aval de las computadoras
que era el mejor de nosotros
y era
pero nada me hará olvidar que fue
quien haciendo y rehaciendo
se purificó más en el exilio
mañana apretaremos con los dientes
este gajo de asombro
este agrio absurdo gajo
y tragaremos
seguirá la vida
pero hoy este horror es demasiado
que no profane el odio
a este bueno yacente este justo
que el odio quede fuera del recinto
donde están los que quiso y que lo quieren
sólo por esta noche
por esta pena apenas
para que nada tizne
esta vela de almas
pocos podrán como él
caer tan generosos
tan atrozmente ingenuos
tan limpiamente osados
mejor juntemos nuestras osadías
la generosidad más generosa
y además instalemos con urgencia
fieles radares en la ingenuidad
convoquemos aquí a nuestros zelmares
esos que él mismo nos dejó en custodia
él que ayudó a cada uno en su combate
en su más sola soledad
y hasta nos escuchó los pobres sueños
él
que siempre salía
de alguna pesadilla
y si tendía una mano era una mano
y si daba consuelo era consuelo
y nunca un simulacro
convoquemos aquí a nuestros zelmares
en ellos no hay ceniza
ni muerte ni derrota ni tierno descalabro
nuestros zelmares siguen tan campantes
señeros renacidos
únicos y plurales
fieles y hospitalarios
convoquemos aquí a nuestros zelmares
y si aún así fraternos
así reunidos en un duro abrazo
en una limpia desesperación
cada uno de esos módicos zelmares
echa de menos a zelmar
será
que el horror sigue siendo demasiado
y ya que nuestro muerto
como diría roque en plena vida
es un indócil
ya que es un difunto peliagudo
que no muere en nosotros
pero muere
que cada uno llore como pueda
a lo mejor entonces
nuestro zelmar
ése de cada uno
ése que él mismo nos dejó en custodia
a cada uno tenderá una mano
y como en tantas otras
malas suertes y noches
nos sacará del pozo
desamortajará nuestra alegría
y empezará a blindarnos los pregones
a encender el futuro con unas pocas brasas.
mayo 1976.
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